To succeed....

"Be successful" was a phrase I grew up hearing. Translated it meant: "Make a lot of money." My decision to follow God's call on my life to be a Pastor was not going to help that cause. So I'm pretty cautious with defining "success." I know what it looks like at Cornerstone - when people are growing in our 3 Key Relationships, we are being successful. I know what it is in my marriage - we are one, we're clicking, when my wife knows we're on the same team. Put another way: When she feels loved and feels secure then I have been successful in loving her.


Success is a delicate subject for Pastors. It's most often defined based on what is most measurable - size. We don't want to seem too worldly or egotistical, yet numbers represent people for whom Jesus died. So numbers do matter. Success survives as a slippery subject.


What about success in life? How do you measure it? Success is lived out differently for all of us but there is still one definition: What fills your heart? Whatever that is, pursue it.


This morning three of us climbed - or crawled - up a hillside, off the beaten path (we're not sure we actually ever found a path) and were rewarded with some great views. Success.

This is the hill we climbed/slid down - the castle is there in the middle

Henry Cloud's book 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Life & Love is a collection of things he's observed that successful people do in business and relationships as opposed to those who are miserable whether in a job or a relationship. It's certainly full of stories of financial success but equally filled with relationship success. As he usually does in my life, Cloud brings some new perspectives on things I know so that I understand them more completely. He also helped me understand some new things that I need to apply.


Here are the 9 principles:


1. Dig it up - bring your dreams and desires to the surface - real life is found on the inside


2. Pull the tooth - if something is negative get rid of it


3. Play the movie - what is the plot you want for your life; should it include the scene you are considering? Does this scene move the story along your plot line?


4. Do something - this is a good one, just do something; in fact to not do something is doing something. Take action. Make the first move. I referred to this one in an earlier blog (How is God Blessing You?)


5. Act like an ant - one of my favorite scriptures Proverbs 6:6-8

6. Hate well - what we hate defines us as well as what we love; knowing what someone hates will tell you what they will not become; hating well means not destroying people


7. Don't play fair - give better than people deserve


8. Be humble - having the need to be more than you are will derail your life


9. Upset the right people - don't make decisions based on the fear of how others might react - choose to do the right thing no matter what

If you're struggling with life or love, perhaps one of these has jumped out at you. What Cloud says he's observed is that successful people live these 9 principles every day, in small things and big ones. They are a way of life. These principles, when practiced, will set life on a positive course. Good things won't always happen or come your way but following these will help you deal with them.


This morning on our hike I got some small pebbles in one shoe. I finally had to stop so I could unload them. They were irritating and were going to continue to irritate until I did something about them. I did something. I pulled the tooth. I hated well!!


What are the pebbles in your life that will continue to irritate you until you choose something different? What do you need to do today?


More to come from Cloud's book. It's another great one.