Observation & Change

"Remember, anything you observe begins to change just as a result of observing it. 

It is the first step toward new experiences and developing new patterns." 

(The One-Life Solution, Cloud, p. 113-114)

One of the privileges of this Sabbatical is the ability to do some observation, some auditing, taking some deeper looks into my life. What really makes me tick? What really ticks me off and why? What are the triggers in my life, for good and ill? How can I better leverage my strengths? What are the clues that there are unresolved issues?

"The issue is that relationships to certain words are often built in to us in the

context of significant relationships, and we can find ourselves with a pattern

of not saying what we want, what we think, or what we will or won't do.

These responses often have nothing to do with the reality of the situation and

everything to do with the patterns we have learned in the past. They become

part of our character, our makeup." (One-Life, p. 111)

I'm finding this book fascinating. It's insightful. Classic Cloud. I'm taking my time through it. Some of it I won't be able to apply until September like taking a "time audit." I can do some of it now but it will have great impact in the Fall. There is also the suggestion of a "word audit," keeping track of words that are easy to say or hard to say. Words that are never said but should be. 


Cloud lists 9 words or phrases for the audit, words that help us create boundaries (a famous Cloud/Townsend word) for our lives so that we can live purposefully, staying true to our vision and mission, values and goals.

I think...

I won't...

I want...

I will...

Yes.

No.

I don't know...

I was wrong...

When you... (p. 114)

I've found myself getting better at saying, "No," but that's a recent phenomena. I want to be liked. In a way it's a way to control what people think about me if I don't say "No."

I don't say "I want" as much as I could. It's not a selfish phrase. As a leader, it provides clarity for the team.

"I was wrong" became easier when I had kids. I wanted to teach them about confession and forgiveness.

I've said "I will" too quickly without thinking through what I'm agreeing to.

I haven't done much work on what is behind these easy and difficult words. But "I will."

What about you? What are your easy and difficult or never words? In order to lead - yourself - your family - your team - these words need to be said. Pay attention to your words today. It might provide some interesting insights.