Ego - Friend or Foe?

Ego is our silent partner - too often with a controlling interest.

- Cullen Hightower (quoted in Egonomics)

I'm working my way through Egonomics, finding it challenging and encouraging with similiar themes to the other books I've been reading. Paying attention to those themes is providing some significant growth in my heart and transforming my thinking.

The authors, among other things, go through 4 early warning signs (more on that later) and give three principles that help keep ego in check and working for us instead of helping us implode. No matter where your ego is in your life, these three principles are excellent topics to take inventory of in your life.

1. Humility - sort of goes without saying. Humility opens are minds, providing a platform for listening, hearing and learning. Humility from a business standpoint means putting your personal interests behind those of the business. Personally it might apply to family first or what's best for the church before your personal preferences. Humility is what John the Baptist spoke about when he said: "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30).

A Christ-follower is a citizen of God's Kingdom not this present world. Therefore personal preferences have no clout with the heart. There are plenty of churches in the world from which we are free to choose here in the U.S. What we must be careful of, I think, is pressing our personal preferences in front of Kingdom business. Growing churches are filled with unselfish people. As soon as we want what we want and don't think about what others need, we're in trouble.

2. Curiosity - this is what combines with humility to multiply exploration into other ideas. The authors write:

If we lead with questions rather than answers, curiosity can strip us of an agenda and stop us from holding so tightly to our own ideas and beliefs that we aren't able to consider others. (29)

Curious people create opportunities for open communication. Combined with humility, curiosity brings ego into check by insisting that together the team can create something better than one individual can do on their own.


3. Veracity

Truth essentially refers to facts or reality; it implies accuracy and honesty. Veracity, however, differs slightly from truth; veracity is the habitual pursuit of, and ahderence to, truth. Veracity differs from truth in action, not in value. (30)

Truth can be difficult to hear and speak. If we're humble and curious we're sure to run into a truth that hurts. Here's one for me from the book.

I can turn anything into a competition. Right now I'm competing with time schedule and a million additional people coming to London, to make sure we get to our train from Heathrow. No small feat. The authors talk about "being comparative" as the first "early warning sign" that ego is out of control:

Because we're immersed in competition, and the competitive spirit pushes us to do better, we hardly notice when it makes us worse (39)......we lose our competitive edge when we cross the line and become too competitive (40).

That's painful for me to hear because I am one of the most competitive people I know. And if you don't think so, I'll prove it to you (heel Ego, heel!). When someone tells me "it can't be done," that's just fuel for the fire. It can be a good thing but Egonomics and God's Spirit are helping me see it can also be overdone to the point of becoming destructive.


Listening to truth and a firm commitment to speaking truth will change a life. Jesus said it this way:

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 

³² Then you will know the truth, and the 

truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Take inventory of your own life. Would your friends and co-workers describe you with these three principles? What in God's Word are you ignoring? If you believe the Bible is God's Word, then it matters what it says. Obedience changes a life. Seek the truth. Speak the truth. Be truthful in all things both big and small.