Regular Renewal for Growth - Relationships

The thinking is this: I worked hard and long to get to where I am. Now I've got to work harder and longer to get to where I'm going. Big problem with that line of thinking - it's not the way we were created to function at our best.


God will help us slow down and renew one way or another - we can follow His rhythm for rest and renewal or we can go to a hospital exhausted, worn out and in poor health. We weren't designed to go full bore forever. 


In his book The Next Level, Scott Eblin writes about 4 areas of renewal that are necessary for a leader to go to the next place. It's based on the premise that what got you to where you are won't get you to where you are going. For the Christ-follower it goes even deeper. No matter where you are in your leadership, a rhythm of rest is essential. I've written about Sabbath and what it does in our souls (see Rhythm of Sabbath) so I won't repeat that here. 


I find it interesting that a book on business leadership recognizes the positive influence of rest and renewal for leadership growth. Bill Easum, a church growth consultant, says that Senior Pastors of large churches need to use 50% of their time in self-care. I define that as the things I need to do for renewal on a daily basis - personal devotions, reading scripture, prayer, exercise, reading, day off, time away from the cell phone - in a monthly routine - like a Sabbath Day - for a yearly rhythm - vacations, pursuing passion (i.e. swim officiating), retreat.

Eblin talks about 4 areas of renewal: mental, physical, spiritual and relational. This was a chapter that spoke easily to me. I've got a pretty good foundation to build on as I continue to learn. Colleagues have recognized and admired by commitment to family before church, to physical exercise and to taking a day off. Many have said: "That takes courage" when referring to this Sabbatical. In two areas, Eblin brought depth to my understanding: the mental and relational arenas.

The results-oriented focus of the executive lifestyle can be so all-consuming that it is easy to overlook the relationships inside and outside work that make life richer and more complete. In observing my experience and that of many of my clients, I have found that it is all too easy to focus on short-term results to the detriment of building and sustaining relationships that make long-term results possible. (53-54)

He centers this renewal focus around "being at your best" which I wrote about earlier this week (When I Am at My Best). What are the routines that, if regularly practiced, would renew your relationships (or your mind, your spirit or your body)? What routines, if you practiced them regularly, would renew your relationships?


Andy Stanley is Lead Pastor of Northpoint Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. He's a master communicator and committed family man. A little book he authored has a great title: Choosing to Cheat. In it he says that we will all cheat something in life as far as how we use our time. We will either cheat our family or our employer. He tells his staff to cheat the church instead of their families when the two come into conflict. That's when they are at their best.

Eblin asks this question: "With whom do I have a relationship who could benefit from being with me when I am at my best?" (p. 54-55) Who do I need to invest my time with? Whom am I cheating and is it helpful to relationships? Relationships take investment.


Stephanie and I soon head to Colorado Springs for a Marriage Get-A-Way sponsored by the Navigators located at Glen Eyrie. It's one way we continue to seek renewal in our marriage.


Relationships matter. How are you renewing yours? Are you at your best for others? Filling your cup of life helps you be at your best. For me that's pursuing swim officiating and teaching. It's not selfish to spend time caring for yourself. In fact, it might be one of the most important things you can do for the sake of the organization, i.e. family, business, church. It's a Biblical rhythm. Are you in it?