To succeed....

"Be successful" was a phrase I grew up hearing. Translated it meant: "Make a lot of money." My decision to follow God's call on my life to be a Pastor was not going to help that cause. So I'm pretty cautious with defining "success." I know what it looks like at Cornerstone - when people are growing in our 3 Key Relationships, we are being successful. I know what it is in my marriage - we are one, we're clicking, when my wife knows we're on the same team. Put another way: When she feels loved and feels secure then I have been successful in loving her.


Success is a delicate subject for Pastors. It's most often defined based on what is most measurable - size. We don't want to seem too worldly or egotistical, yet numbers represent people for whom Jesus died. So numbers do matter. Success survives as a slippery subject.


What about success in life? How do you measure it? Success is lived out differently for all of us but there is still one definition: What fills your heart? Whatever that is, pursue it.


This morning three of us climbed - or crawled - up a hillside, off the beaten path (we're not sure we actually ever found a path) and were rewarded with some great views. Success.

This is the hill we climbed/slid down - the castle is there in the middle

Henry Cloud's book 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Life & Love is a collection of things he's observed that successful people do in business and relationships as opposed to those who are miserable whether in a job or a relationship. It's certainly full of stories of financial success but equally filled with relationship success. As he usually does in my life, Cloud brings some new perspectives on things I know so that I understand them more completely. He also helped me understand some new things that I need to apply.


Here are the 9 principles:


1. Dig it up - bring your dreams and desires to the surface - real life is found on the inside


2. Pull the tooth - if something is negative get rid of it


3. Play the movie - what is the plot you want for your life; should it include the scene you are considering? Does this scene move the story along your plot line?


4. Do something - this is a good one, just do something; in fact to not do something is doing something. Take action. Make the first move. I referred to this one in an earlier blog (How is God Blessing You?)


5. Act like an ant - one of my favorite scriptures Proverbs 6:6-8

6. Hate well - what we hate defines us as well as what we love; knowing what someone hates will tell you what they will not become; hating well means not destroying people


7. Don't play fair - give better than people deserve


8. Be humble - having the need to be more than you are will derail your life


9. Upset the right people - don't make decisions based on the fear of how others might react - choose to do the right thing no matter what

If you're struggling with life or love, perhaps one of these has jumped out at you. What Cloud says he's observed is that successful people live these 9 principles every day, in small things and big ones. They are a way of life. These principles, when practiced, will set life on a positive course. Good things won't always happen or come your way but following these will help you deal with them.


This morning on our hike I got some small pebbles in one shoe. I finally had to stop so I could unload them. They were irritating and were going to continue to irritate until I did something about them. I did something. I pulled the tooth. I hated well!!


What are the pebbles in your life that will continue to irritate you until you choose something different? What do you need to do today?


More to come from Cloud's book. It's another great one.

How Is God Blessing You?

This morning as I hiked up a trail, looking around at God's handiwork and enjoying the solitude, my nostrils were assaulted by the smell of smoke. Not new smoke. It was the smell you get when you go out to a fire pit the next day and stir the coals a little to make sure it's really out. It's the smell you get just from grilling. This was a smell from a couple of weeks ago - the Waldo Canyon fire. I didn't realize just how close it was. I stood on the ridge overlooking a canyon on my left with hills on my right scarred from burning.

God is in the business of blessing us but not in the simple way of saying: "I feel so blessed" when something good has happened to us. God's definition of blessing goes far deeper, to the outcome, the desired result of His work in our lives. Sometimes that means using the bad stuff, like the houses over the ridge that were not spared by the fire.

I brought another Henry Cloud book with me, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love & Life. It's his observations about what successful people do that others don't. His 4th principle for success is "Do Something."

To psychologists, philosophers, and theologians, who is at fault, is not the big issue. That is a legal question. What is an issue is being responsible in terms of ownership. To own my life means that it is mind and no other person's. I can blame no one for what I do with it. I can blame them for what they do to me, but I cannot blame them for what I do with what they do to me. I am responsible for how I respond. (p. 102-103)

Blessings come in many forms, we just prefer them in the nice, kind, helpful, good feeling form. The difference for a Christ-follower is keeping our eye on the end goal God has for our lives. I've said it a hundred times and caught myself having difficulty living it out 101 times: "God is not interested in our comfort but rather in building our character to be like Christ."

As I stared at the burned hillside I wondered how I would be if I were on the other side. Could I be ok with my house being "on the other side?" Would I be? To use Cloud's phrase, could I do something with what has been handed to me?

It's the marriage vows, isn't it? "For better or worse - in sickness and in health." That's not multiple choice. God can use marriage to shape and mold our hearts to be like His. If we can learn to love our mate then we will be closer to having His heart for the world. Because sometimes, we humans are hard to love. It's in the furnace of marriage that we can be purified if we'll deal with the hand we've been dealt 25, 30, 40 years down the road.

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes but we must see through God's eyes to catch them all.

I was reminded of Laura Story's song, Blessings, as I stood on the ridge:

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

What will you do with God's blessings today? Do you see them? What if every opportunity, big or small, we had His eyes to say: "This can make me more like Jesus today?" That's God's goal for us. Is it your goal for you?

The time is here....

Reconnecting with good friends, exploring new scenery and being in the midst of history are all coming together for me here in Omaha. Good friends from Cornerstone graciously opened their spare bedroom to me for the duration of Trials. Thanks, Tom & Christy. Of course, I'm a little worried that poor Elaina has now begun throwing up. That would not look good on national TV throwing up into the pool! Praying that doesn't happen.

Before I forget, my assignment in the morning for prelims is "the warm-up pool." Yes, they are stationing three of us in the warm-up pool for the morning. Apparently assignments will be different in the evening so I'll try to let you know. Regardless of where I am it's exciting to be here. The big screen in the warm-up pool area will keep us apprised of what's happening in the meet.

Tonight we went through some rehearsal for TV - where to walk - where to stand - complete with fire exploding from mechanisms on the side of the pool. We were 30 meters away and felt the heat! If there's a World or American record, watch out!

I bumped into Jamie Cahn, an official from the Baltimore area, at the airport so I offered to drop him at the hotel. I'm amazed at how God brings things together in "chance" meetings. Jamie is writing a book on management and leadership. We had really just a few moments to talk, sharing what I am reading and what he is writing. I offered to read it if he wants an opinion. We'll see.

I've added four books to my list. The first two were assigned by Coach Brenda (Sherpa Coaching):

1. The Next Level: What Insiders Know about Executive Success, Scott Eblin

2. What's Your Impact on Business: The Sherpa Guide to Business, Behavior & You, Brenda Corbett & Rubi Ho (no link on Amazon, but you could email Sherpa Coaching (see link to the right) for a copy.

3. 9 Things You Simply Must Do To Succeed in Love and Life, Henry Cloud (big surprise, another Cloud book!!)

4. The Unknown Battle of Midway, Alvin Kernan - I found this book on a list produced by the University Library association. I've always been a fan of WWII history and Midway is my favorite war movie. Mr. Kernan was on an aircraft carrier during the Battle so comes at it from a very interesting perspective and is able to give many details not told in the movie.