Next Steps

"In their hearts humans plan their course, 

but the LORD establishes their steps."

Proverbs 16:9

Next steps are vital to getting where you're going. A most famous antithesis comes from Alice in Wonderland. Alice is wandering around, trying to find a way out of Wonderland. She comes to a fork in the road and meets the Cheshire Cat. Alice asks the cat, “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” 


“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” replies the cat.

“I don't much care...” says Alice.

“Then it doesn't matter which way you go.”

Next steps are important to have lined up BUT, and it's a big BUT, the best laid plans of men are no match for God's purposes. And we wouldn't want them to be.

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD." (Proverbs 21:30)

I've got plans laid out for this Sabbatical: a stack of books to read, ideas for blog posts, trips, reservations, thoughts, a to-do list and some goals. I sought some counsel (Proverbs 15:22). I laid my plans next to my goals to make sure they could get me where I want to go. Most importantly, I prayed, asking for God's leading.

I think I understand God's plans for my life, at least the short-term ones. I'm not referring to the no-brainers - the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) - a life worthy of the name of Jesus (Colossians 1:10). I'm talking about the internal work for now so that I'm ready for the future. But I would never presume to know it all. "The Lord establishes their steps."

My highly scientific and theological method for determining God's will is this: "pay attention." Be aware that God is working His plans for me each day with every person and circumstance. So I try to pay attention. To do otherwise would be arrogant. It's my way of living out Proverbs 16:9.

Vision is more like a compass than a roadmap. It's the compass not the calendar that matters most. It's the direction you are going that matters more than the speed with which you are getting there. I want to be headed in the right direction. That direction comes from God's Word and His overall plan which is so easily recognizable. Each day brings different ways to live it out.

I've followed different paths that I thought were God's will - for instance, a Ph.D. in Church History for teaching in a Seminary - but whether I misinterpreted or missed something or the journey wasn't a mistake at all - instead I found my way to teaching at the Emmaus Seminary in Haiti. A deviation to be sure but overall the same path, teaching pastors. And most certainly what God had in mind all along. "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

I don't know exactly where things will end up on September 2nd but I do know God's plans will succeed. Far be it from me to try to thwart those by failing to pay attention to the opportunities and people He puts in my path. I want to live into those plans and make His next steps my next steps.

What plans do you have? Are they yours or the Lords? Are you paying attention?

* photo from Denali National Park Visitors Center, Alaska

The Rhythm of Sabbath

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."

Exodus 20:8

The rhythm of Sabbath has been crucial on this journey. Different seasons have brought different looks. When there were no children, Sabbath was whatever. Multiple children meant more planning and missing. College age has sent me back to flexibility. The soon coming empty nest will be a new adventure.

A Sabbath Day is to be holy. Holiness is about drawing near to God which instinctively means separating from anything that draws us away from Him. Holiness is not separate so much as distinct, radically distinct. Holiness is about being present with God. It might be filled with some activities or absent of them. There's no prescription for Sabbath. In fact some persons in my life have tried to script the Sabbath practice but that seems to be a violation of Jesus prescription: "the Sabbath was made for man not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27)


I can't see myself doing anything else with life. It's a privilege to be able to say that. O, I can coach swimmers to swim faster - I can teach Pastors - I can be the Angry Birds World Champion - but local church ministry is my calling. It is fulfilling and draining. It is energizing and difficult. These 25 years have been a great ride filled with incredible stories of transformation where I am in awe that God could use me. There have been miserable failures, mistakes, poor choices, words that hurt - and these are the things I've done!


It's the rhythm of Sabbath that has sustained me, but there have been sporadic times during the parenting of teens years. When I skip Sabbath I can be found drowning in a whirlpool of negativity, personal agendas and temptations. The years have worn on my heart. I've let those little snippy comments, those under-the-breathe remarks, those anonymous notes get under my skin. Pastors know what I'm talking about. There's no other job like what we do.


My early years practice was twice a month, often spending one of those at my alma  mater, Asbury Seminary. Attending chapel, meeting with professors, spending time in prayer, listening to CD's on the road all served to re-connect me with the Lord. Other times I would go to Bicentennial Park on the Ohio River - just a notebook, pen & Bible. No agenda. Just me and God - reading - praying - listening. Sometimes it was an opportunity to reconnect with Stephanie, for in loving her is how I love God best.


For me, this Sabbatical is the natural extension of a Sabbath rhythm. What is your  rhythm? You might need to discover it. No two Sabbaths are alike. The important part is being truly present with God and that requires a Sabbath rhythm.


*photos from Garden of Gethsemane & wall of prison cell in House of Caiaphas

God-centered Worship

Go Bucks! The first Sabbatical trip was to Ohio State for worship @ H20, a graduation celebration lunch @ Schmidt's then moving some things into Kathryn & Brian's new apartment. Physically - worn out from getting WAY too hot. Spiritually - encouraged and challenged.

Jon Shah, the Lead Pastor for H20 @ OSU, continued their series on Exodus, presently in chapter 33. At first, I was distracted by a verse that he skipped - "Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.” (v. 3) A fascinating verse for another time. A reminder that I wasn't teaching and a choice to be centered on God or what I want.

I'll share two things that struck me.

First - Moses was focused on knowing and honoring God. Most often we approach God wanting something from Him. Moses wanted to know God.

"If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you." (v. 13)

Knowing God is the highest form of worship. It's not about feeling better about ourselves. It's not about getting something FROM God but getting to KNOW God that makes worship genuine. Worship is more than music but that's where it's so easy to get off track.

It's easy to get focused on a song - "they're not singing it right" - "I don't know the song." Suddenly we've shifted from God-focus to Me-focus. Don't get me wrong, it's important for a worship band to give God their best (and how easy it is for a band to begin to think it's about them and not God) but it's not about preferences or what I like. It's about God.

I consider myself fortunate to have served in some settings that were not always easy or familiar. I had a lot to learn and God provided some gracious people as companions on the journey. It was there I learned God-focused worship. Sometimes I didn't know the songs, so I paid attention to the words. Sometimes I didn't like the songs, so I paid attention to God. Sometimes the music was bad, so I closed my eyes and opened my heart to the difficult gift.

Worship is not about me. Someone wrote on an attendance card: "I'd like to know who is speaking ahead of time each week." The implication was: "I want to decide whether I'm going to come listen and learn or not." Me-centered. When we begin deciding how, when and through whom God can teach us we have entered dangerous & dark territory.

Second lesson - this quote:

"The reality is we have exactly the kind of relationship with the Lord that we want to have."

That resonated with my spirit. We do, you know, have just the kind of relationship with really want. If you want to keep partial control of your life, you will work the relationship just that way. It's very me-centered.

I'm pondering today what kind of relationship I have with the Lord. If I don't like it there's no one to blame but me. Which also means I can do something about it.

How is your relationship with the Lord? Be honest. It's exactly the way you want it to be. 

How's your worship? Me-centered or God-centered? What is the evidence?

So what will you do to grow? 

Graduation Day(s)

 

To graduate is a good thing. It signifies accomplishment, both an ending and a beginning. A time to move on, to go forward. It's a good thing to finish a project. It's a good thing when children graduate into adulthood. It's a good thing for adults to leave home, and to marry. It's normal and natural and we are thrilled.


Kathryn graduates from college in a few weeks, the end of a road, the beginning of an adventure. A week later we welcome Brian into our family. Good endings and beginnings. Graduations into a larger life full of responsibilities, privileges, potentials and difficulties.

To remain a child is to forget that graduation is the goal. My daughter, Caroline, tweeted not too long ago: "Independence is great until it kicks you in the butt!" Adults take responsibility for themselves by growing. It doesn't mean we can't have fun and enjoy life. What we can't do is follow Peter Pan, running away from the realities of life. Growth. Moving on. These are the things adults do.


In their book, Rescue Your Love Life, Henry Cloud & John Townsend write: "The spiritual and emotional growth process, designed by God, is about discovering what we lack inside, where we are empty, and where we are broken. We find out how unfinished we are and how much we need God and others. But it doesn't stop there. The next step is experiencing the many ways we can be filled, matured, and healed." (p. 40)

Growth is normal.

Call me crazy but I am excited that my girls are in college. I'm excited that my son will be off to college in the next 15 months. I'm excited that my daughter is graduating and getting married. I'm excited for them because it means they are growing up. It means that somehow I've done my job, to this point, as a parent. Through all the things I'd do over and differently, through the mistakes of action and inaction, God's grace raised children to be future adults. Had they stayed at home and not taken on the responsibilties of independence, I would have failed them.

2 Peter 1:5-8 "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Growth is good. It means graduations, moving on, stepping out, growing up. Without growth our faith becomes infertile, unable to produce maturity. We remain as children, fleeing to Neverland - no responsibilities - no privileges or potential.

Where do you need to grow up? Is there somewhere you need to take responsibility for your life? Are you thankful that your kids have grown up? What do you need to add to your faith? It's time to graduate to the next level.

Endings & Beginnings

I'm halfway through Henry Cloud's life-changing Necessary Endings. The subtitle says it well: "The employees, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward." It's a book about how to know when to end something in order to grow something new.


One particular section has me pondering. Dr. Cloud relates what he calls "5 Internal Maps" that keep necessary endings from happening:


1. Having an abnormally high pain threshold
2. Covering for others
3. Believing that ending it means "I failed"
4. Misunderstood loyalty
5. Codependent mapping


"Ouch!!" I found myself in each category but two in particular I wrestle with the most: believing "I failed" and misunderstood loyalty.


My friend, Brenda, has been helpful here. She uses a simple tool:

Q-Tip in Brenda's world stands for "Quit - Taking - It - Personally". A portion of my summer internal work is understanding where this happens in my life and leadership. When my idea isn't the one the group decides to use, don't take it personally. When my boss critiques my work, don't take it personally.


Here's where I think it applies to necessary endings. When it's time for an ending, don't take it as a sign that I have failed. Endings are a natural, normal part of the cycle of life. 


"In other words, if you quit any one thing, you are a quitter instead of being wise. For example, the map says that ending a particular business strategy means you are a quitter. Or giving up on a relationship means being a quitter." (Necessary Endings, p. 63)


I hate not being able to make things work. Like most of the male species, I love to fix things. But sometimes it's just time to move on. It's normal. It's natural. It's not personal. Just because it doesn't work doesn't mean I've failed.


Misunderstanding loyalty is a difficult map to replace. Cloud writes about an example: "He had formed a rule in his head that said to grow up and move on was being disloyal and ungrateful." (p. 65) I've met a number of people through the years who can't say good-bye. Instead they blow up the relationship in anger and accusations. It's their map.


I connect with this map when I think I'm responsible for others. I make it personal. I make it about pleasing people rather than focusing on God's call. I make offers to help when it's really not possible. It just looks good.


Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."


The Church-world doesn't do well with results oriented decision making. We make it personal. We misplace our loyalty to people rather than the Kingdom. Moving forward sometimes requires an ending that is not enjoyable, fun or pleasant. But it is necessary.


What needs to end in your life in order for you to move on? What relationships are you in that should have ended some time ago? Where do you need to grow up and move on? What map do you deal with the most?


These first few days of Sabbatical have provided some endings and beginnings. Ended is my daily connection to the people of Cornerstone. I don't know the ongoing needs that exist. Ended is my ability to think strategically about next steps because I'm not there for the present situation. Ended is my relationship to "work." That's been an interesting one I'll blog about later.


Now to end Necessary Endings.

Uh Oh!

"I sure hope this isn't how it's all going to go!"

How many of us haven't said that.....as a trip begins.....as Monday dawns....as something breaks, goes wrong, doesn't happen. We hope it doesn't continue that way.

After surrendering my key and departing Cornerstone at 2:30 on Wednesday, I was off to do a good deed for a young couple who live nearby. A few hours later Stephanie comes home announcing this condition of my car:

"I sure hope this isn't how the whole 

Sabbatical is going to go!"

But Lord, I did a good deed and this happens! I was serving, don't I get a little protection? We can all too easily go down that path. If I do something good then goood things should happen in my life. When bad things happen, was it then because I did something bad?

I've found life doesn't follow any kind of predictable pattern, especially not one that I can control. And O, how I love to be in control! Life happens and reminds me I'm not in control. I can't make things go my way. I can't fix things I'd like to fix.

Paul reminds us many times in the Scriptures that life is not predictable, it is not easy, that there is no equality of good bringing good and bad bringing bad into our lives. Life is full of difficult and unplanned circumstances. But there's another side to the story:

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."

It's not what happens to us but how we handle it that matters most to God. Because we know we are never truly abandoned we can look beyond our circumstances to the God who holds our lives in His hands.


Something will happen today - and tomorrow - that I won't have scheduled, that I can't anticipate. It can be a God-thing or a frustrating thing. It can be an opportunity to display the character of Jesus or not. So in some ways it doesn't matter which way things go. Because I know don't have to fear being crushed, abandoned or destroyed I can honor Him with each step and word and thought and deed - even when good deeds aren't guaranteed to provide insulation.

Uncharted Territory

It was a great send-off from the Cornerstone staff. Always count on the youth pastor for some fun and games! Thanks, Will for the memorable rendition of "leavin' on a jet plane."

So it's off on a journey. I don't know everything that is in store but I know it will be used by God for good, no matter what it is (Romans 8:28). My goals are simple:


1. Renew my spirit and heart for ministry. Recently I discovered a courage I didn't realize I had lost. Finishing well is about staying strong but life and ministry make that difficult. It seems that the years have taken a toll on my heart but I refuse to let the negative things about ministry cause my heart to turn toward stone.


2. Grow relationships with my family. A couple of weeks for just me and Stephanie, a wild and wonderful Olympic trip for the whole family - including the newest member at that point, son-in-law Brian - and some time for me and John to do some "guy" stuff (which may involve jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!).


3. Grow my officiating skills and experience. I'm really excited to be part of the U.S. Olympic Swimming Trials, an unbelievable privilege. Add to that 4 other officiating teams and it looks like a fantastic summer of swimming and learning. The real bonus for Stephanie is at least 5 more shirts to add to my collection!! Afterall, we know it's all about the shirts.


4. Grow my self-awareness through reading, counseling and coaching. I asked for reading recommendations from friends and colleagues. As I mentioned before, the overwhelming recommendations concurred that the writings of Henry Cloud would be the best for doing some "inside work." The first book in progress is Necessary Endings. In order to move on, some things need to end. The rhythm of spring time and summer, fall and winter, planting and harvest, is a normal part of life. The sooner we can grasp that, the more likely we are to see that endings are a normal part of the cycle of life.


   I am also privileged to work with an executive coach in Brenda Corbett from Sherpa Coaching. Everybody should be privileged to have somebody who will speak truth, make you work without giving you the answers and not let you get away with sloppy leadership. She's already given me some homework I'll be sharing about later. Thanks, Brenda, for making me a project.


I'm reminded of Abraham's call in Genesis 12:1 "The Lord had said to Abraham, 'Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you.'"


This journey could be titled "Uncharted Territory." I'm marrying off my oldest daughter and gaining a son-in-law whom we already love. That's new. I'm taking this extended time off from a job I love, missing people I love. Never done that before. I'm part of the team officiating at the fastest swim meet in the world. Many new things to learn with that experience. Then there's that airplane and parachute thing. I know I've never done that before - but I love my son!


So I'm off on my Abrahamic journey, leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar, knowing the God I follow has only blessing in the midst and at the end.

Back to the Basics

The countdown is now 10 days and the one thing I'm thinking is how much I'm going to miss being part of Cornerstone Church. I love doing life with this Church. But God has plans for this summer. It's going to be a summer of growth for me and for Cornerstone.

This Sabbatical is about getting "Back to the Basics." Shore up the foundation. Strengthen the supports. Renew the things that have grown weak. Family has always been #1 for me but I've not always lived that way. Life got in the way, dragging my focus aside to other things.

I've created a summer calendar around four key basics in my life: family, hobby, history and my son, John. Supporting the time will be reading the Bible and also some books, many by Henry Cloud. Times of retreat and prayer, coaching and reconnecting are vital to the plan.

FAMILY: I have told every church I've led that if I lead 1000 people to faith in Christ but my family doesn't follow Him then I've fought the wrong battle. Family is my first church. A marriage conference, swim meets with my son and a family trip to England will create some great memories.

HOBBY: The sport of swimming has been a part of my life since age 5. After competition has come officiating. I have been blessed to work with some incredible people in the world of swimming. One mentor, Pat Lunsford, provided me the encouragement and opportunity to grow my skills as a starter. I am honored to be allowed to serve in that role at some incredible meets.
   Any attempt to list the people who have helped me, assisted me, mentored me, challenged me to be better and given me opportunities to grow, fail and learn, would certainly miss someone. You know who you are. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

   This Sabbatical gives me the opportunity to grow my skills through more repetitions with senior level swimmers, working with a variety of people at meets I would not normally get to work and experiencing some fantastic swimming. A highlight of the summer will be serving on the Olympic Trials deck. The bonus will be staying with good friends from Cornerstone who've been gone 4 years now.

HISTORY: The Revolutionary Period has always held my attention so some time will be spent in tht time period, including some additional research on the Life & Ministry of Rev. Francis McCormick, father of Methodism in the Northwest Territory.

JOHN: This Sabbatical is well timed to spend time with my youngest before he heads off to college next year. When asked what he'd like to do.....he responded without hesitation: "Jump out of a perfectly good airplane with a parachute!" I can't believe I'm going to do it but I'm going to do it. What a great memory we will make!

Back to the basics. What is it in your life that you need to get back to?

Take your mark...

I am in the final stages of preparation for an opportunity of a lifetime. I serve the best church ever. They actually ask the question: "How is your soul, Pastor?" It is that nature combined with a lifetime pursuit of a sabbath rhythm that have led to this place. At the end of May I will say "I'll be back" to leading Cornerstone in exchange for a summer Sabbatical of rest - renewal - re-energizing.

Two years ago I began a conversation with the Cornerstone Board and with their blessing we pursued and received a grant from the Lilly Foundation Clergy Renewal Leave Program. Receipt of the grant has made summer planning really BIG!

A practice was instilled in me 22 years ago through one of my final classes at Asbury Seminary, The Spiritual Life of the Minister. Dr. Steve Harper had us Eugene Peterson's Working the Angles. One emphasis was the importance of Sabbath. Just a few months later I was in my first church and instituted the practice of Sabbath once or twice a month. Looking back I believe it was my salvation for lasting ministry.

Henri Nouwen wrote a book, Making All Things New, that I read in those first years after seminary. In it Nouwen talked about a "ministry of absence." So often Christ-followers believe it is only possible for ministry to occur when they are present and active. I've watched Pastors neglect family, physical health and relationship with Jesus all in the name of ministry. Some Pastors feel like they can't not be present or ministry won't really happen. What Nouwen referenced was this conversation Jesus had with his disciples:


"...It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." (Luke 16:7)


The ministry of absence means the presence of the Holy Spirit. I learned early on that if I'm always around, always available, always present then people tend to not depend on the Holy Spirit. And He is a much better at ministry than I am! To be always present means I can become a barrier to the work of the Spirit. But I haven't always practiced that. This Sabbatical is one way I've chosen to put my own human need and desire to be "the one." My job is more about helping people learn to be dependent on the Holy Spirit, the only one who can transform a heart.

The practice of sabbath is not just about a day but rather a lifestyle. Throughout the Old Testament laws, Sabbath permeates every part of life. The farmer was instructed to plant and harvest for 6 years but not the 7th. The 7th day wasn't just for the Jews but for everyone in the community, Jew or Gentile, from the high society to the lowest servant.

The case could be made that the practice of Sabbath was at the core of Jewish life and relationship with God. Without Sabbath, that time to stop, step off the treadmill, shut down, go off the grid, unplug, without that rhythm life becomes about me. With Sabbath it becomes about God. I stop and focus on Him to remind myself what this life is all about. Sabbath is at the core of a healthy relationship with God.

So on May 23rd I will begin regular blogging (daily would be the ideal but I know myself). I'm excited for what is to come and what God will be doing in my life and the life of Cornerstone Church. I hope you will be encouraged by the journey.